Deciphering the Narcissist from the Sociopath is some tricky business because they are practically identical. The two biggies that set them apart are the disordereds’ motives and levels of self awareness. In other words, you’d have to get the N/S to be open and forthcoming about the inner workings of his mind if you wanted clarification. As always, you can count out the Narc or Socio for assistance. Unless you crack their heads open like coconuts and unravel the twisted little rats nests that dwell within, that ain’t happening. Those truths are tucked securely away right beside Jimmy Hoffa and D.B. Cooper and the teensy pile of charred ash and grime that used to be the Narc’s conscience.
What do you think is going to happen if you ask a Narc or Socio for ten seconds of their personal time to answer a question that might help you with relieving your personal pain and bring you closure? Because, you know, it’s really not asking much considering all the nice, supportive things you’ve done for them and it’s the respectful, humane thing to do and someone who used to claim they loved you should do you a simple kindness without question and…
Right. So what’s Plan B?
One of your options is to throw in the towel and say “Fuck it, that guy’s a nasty little filth-rag and the end results are the same either way. I don’t care which species of vermin he is, I’m going to Urgent Care for a rabies shot and then to Biff’s Tavern for a whiskey shot.”
That’s all fine and dandy unless you‘re one of those truth-seeking people who want answers. I am one of those people. I want to know about the why.
You’ll never be 100% certain about anything when it comes to the Narc/Socio/Narc-Socio conundrum. These whack-jobs are so twisted and fake they don’t even know which way their own asses are pointing, which is why they end up spraying shit all over anyone who gets too close to them. However, more education on personality disorders benefits everyone except them (take your small victories when you can) and will move you forward in your recovery. Knowing is half the battle and worst case scenario, you’ll narrow down some options. At least, that’s what I told myself. The jury is still out as to whether I pulled a Narc and lied to me.
Ten Things to Remember When Determining Narcissism vs. Sociopathy
- Narcissism and Sociopathy are often diagnosed in tandem, making Narcissistic Sociopathy way more common than either pure Narcs or Socios
- The Narc is addicted to attention, the Sociopath is addicted to power, control, and winning whatever stupid game he’s conjured up in his head
- The Narc is unaware there’s anything wrong with him, the Socio knows he’s fucked in the head but doesn’t care
- Narcissists are less likely to be caught in criminal activities than Sociopaths because they are more shrewd compared to the more apathetic Sociopath
- Narcs are generally more overt, some mental health pros use ‘sociopath’ and ‘covert narcissist’ interchangeably.
- Narcissists can’t handle being alone, the Sociopath can deal with it
- The Narc is indifferent to your pain, the Socio is delighted
- The N will talk about himself, the S will direct the conversation towards you
- The mask of the Narc will slip less often than the Socio’s
- All Sociopaths are Narcissists, not all Narcissists are Sociopaths
After determining that the information I’d pulled didn’t do me much good in regards to identifying the motives behind the actions of the piece of shit disguised a human being who I thought was my best friend, I decided to just throw up my hands and join everyone else at Biff’s Tavern. Narcissist, Sociopath, Lifetime Member of Club Douche-Toboggan, whatever. Any way you slice, garnish, and serve it…